Give it a name

Gosh, so many terms, so many theories and no one really seems to know what is what. You wanted to know what is what? Here is your own documentary!

First things first though. Everything written down is from what I read in the past and personal experience. I did not keep wikipedia right next of it and even although most terms speak for themselves, a lot are opinion based also.

Lets start with the most common one. No, you probably never heard of it. But where everyone might has their own name for people like me; weird, unique, trans, travo, cross-dresser, gay. We also got a name for you. You... probably cis gendered person.

Cis is just another way of naming the usual/normal way. Born in a certain gender and identity and comfortable with it. Just when you talk about transgenders and 'normal/usual' people, it can be considered as pretty rude. So we use the term, Cis.

Someone who is Cis can be gay, lesbian, bi, or pansexual.

Gay, you feel attracted to a male identity and most likely male sex.

Lesbian, attracted to a female identity and most likely female sex.

Bisexual means you feel attracted to both men and women while as Pansexual means the same but then it really doesn't matter if someone has a male or female sex, identity, unisex, queer, or whatever other names are out there. Pansexual means you feel attracted really purely for who someone is as a person.

But wait! You also got straight! And that rhymed, cheesy. Anyhow, straight can also still be confusing. If you consider yourself to be a little bit more open minded and agree that your gender is not between the legs but in the brains, are you considered gay when with a pre-op (before sexual reassignment surgery) male to female transgender? You can fill in for yourself when someone is considered straight.

Personally I see straight as when you have a clear preference to the opposite gender and do not bend far from that. No matter what you look like, how you act, if you wear certain clothes or if you like to experiment in bed.

These are all sexualities and transgender is often mistaken with a sexuality. Well, it is not. A transgender can have any of the above sexualities and is the same as a Cis-gendered person. The only difference is that a transgender does not feel comfortable with their born sex and the identity they have to live with.

Although, transgender still can be split up in many different branches. Now, don't get me wrong. In most cases a transgender is not happy at all to be called a drag-queen, travestite, or anything non gender specified. But in many cases someone decides not to transition, but to live their life the way their were born, and only let out their feelings every once in a while.

For the one it is a let-out, the other it is an enjoyable, creative act. A travestite is basically a dressed up man looking like a woman. Drag-queens take it a step further and often wear heavy make-up. Drag-queens are in most cases men dressing up as women. You also have Drag-kings. The other way around. This although is far less common.

The more innocent shape and form of the above two goes by the term cross-dresser. Of course it can't just be simple because even this is opinion related. When you wear clothes of your opposite identity, then you cross-dress. Then again, an, as an example, female to male transgender who still presents as female, is basically cross-dressing. But to keep it simple, a man wearing female clothes and the other way around, is a cross-dresser.

If you take that a bit further to the perverted side, you get sissies. Each their own really but lets not talk too long about it because it is so not my thing..at all. Men who read this and in their spare time enjoy wearing as slutty clothes as possible with high heels for sexual arousal, are sissies. But yea, each their own!

Because in general the sex industry is focussed on men it is easier to find something related to their needs. It is said many men do watch gay porn and there are ones who cannot fully open to that desire and seek it elsewhere. Searching for she-males. She-male is basically a direct insult and the porn version of a transgender.

Each their own, but if you want to come across with a she-male it is best to go to Thailand. Tell a transgender it is a plus and you most likely insult them.

All those genders.. sexualities, it is complicated. Even while writing this I am confusing myself. Like.. straight. I know I am straight, and since my identity is female, that means I feel attracted to men. Then again, at the moment I am still a biological man. But, then again! If I were a biological male wouldn't my brain also function like one? Wait.. what.. stop. Not even going there. Confusing.

Just be open minded and straight-flexible, or pansexual. There! Problem solved.

Anyway! There are also people who do not fit a label. Unisex or androgynous. The latter is mostly used because unisex is also used for objects. Nowadays androgynous is very well known in the world of photography and fashion.

Now someone can live androgynous and have no gender identity, wearing either kind of clothes and in many cases you can't tall if you got a man or woman in front of you. Many young children are in fact androgynous. Let a young boy grow his hair long and especially with his young voice he will be often seen as a girl and the opposite a girl can have short hair for the same results.

Usually the way of addressing isn't such a big deal. Or it is but at this point of life not big enough to mention. As for me I noticed that even though I hadn't told it yet, I disliked being called a dude, man or even when someone spoke about me as a he. But even now in front of people I know I feel uneasy referring myself with she. Instead of either genders I learned you can also talk without ever mentioning a gender. Just don't add the gender at the end of your sentences and instead of saying he or she, say their or simply the persons name.

Some people would love you for that actually. Gender-queers are often androgynous but one day they feel more feminine, the other more masculine. One day they are a he the other time a she but the queers I spoke with before often are not a fan of any and prefer 'their'.

Oh, and some might confuse unisex and transgenders with hermaphrodites. A hermaphrodite was born with both a male and female sex and thus is a whole different story. Cis but not exactly Cis. Not transgender either and well.. I don't know. You just learned a lot new terms so you can fill it in for yourself.

Again, the above is what I read before and my opinions. Not everyone sees it this way which I understand. Does it really matter anyway? Just ask someone in a respectful way what they prefer if you do not know already and in the end we are all weird in our own ways. No matter what label someone else gave you.