To be a model!

Where everyone has insecurities, which I also got plenty of, I now can also mention plenty things which I do like about my self.

Now it would always been better if I had figured it all out faster, and started with it when I was younger but at the same time I am fine with how things went. I fully focussed myself on my study thinking that that was what could feel that empty gap in my stomach and I really wouldn't miss those experiences either.

But also, on fora you often see trans men and women mentioning that they don't want to start therapy, they most likely will turn out ugly. But as if every usual person does not have insecurities. Someone is too tall, to short, too fat, too thin, big breasts, too small breasts, bald, or what else. Imagine being born with the right body, would that automatically make it perfect?

I guess I can consider myself lucky. Even without taking hormones people get confused. In stores it happens frequently that people go like; Good day sir, ma'am, miss, man, what? Which is funny.

Then again, you can call me unlucky because I do not have the right body, no breasts and not the correct genital either. Where others grow up with interests and to explore themselves, I could as well but it did not feel right so I never really did. Then my voice doesn't suit me and hormones won't change that. Voice training will.

It doesn't really matter what you are, what you look like and if you are 'pass-able'. In the end there will always be people who dislike you and who make that clear to you.

People tend to look up to models and I can look up to Andreja Pejic. Even she has struggles, difficulties and people being negative about her online. While she is beautiful wither she was modeling in male or female clothes.

In many cases you hear transgender's speak about insecurities, pass-ability, beauty and sadness about not being more perfect. While as described above, everything has its ups and downs. In the end, everyone wants to feel perfect about themselves and in reality, no one ever will. Not models, not insecure people, not transgenders, rarely anyone can look in the mirror and think of themselves as being perfect and in my honest opinion if someone does think they are perfect, then they automatically think others are imperfect which doesn't exactly makes them someone to be jealous of, personality wise.

So basically, either be insecure about a few things your whole life, or just be happy for who you are.